Forthright

by Kayce S. Hughlett

When asked to name the Full Moon in Libra occurring this week, I immediately piped up that it is the “Can’t make up its mind” Moon. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wondered if I was not only referring to the moon, but also to myself. It’s been a wishy washy kind of week, inside and out. Last weekend, the sun was vibrant here in Seattle and we all believed summer had arrived. Then as quickly as it popped out, the sunshine disappeared behind stormy clouds. The weather can’t make up its mind and neither can I.

This is the music, the light and lift, the rising from winter to spring. A word or seed. Splash of paint. Symbol across the page. Ancestor whizzing through our dreams. This is breath, birth, broth, new life and old. The cauldron of elderhood mixed and stirring. Each morning something new. An ache, a pain, a desire so vibrant we can feel it in our bones. Sunlight after days of gray. A warm blanket to ward off the cold. Cherry blossoms and daisies.

Firmly ensconced in this space of equality (or equinox), of light, darkness, and changing seasons, I’m reminded how when you mix too many colors together, you get mud. Black and white makes gray. Here I sit in the space and place where earth and sky meet and greet one another. The space before awakening after a long night’s sleep. I am humbled by what I do not know and awed by all that I do. Crossing between worlds like Persephone rising out of the underworld. Perhaps her mother, Demeter, pulled her into the light to ease her own suffering. Was Persephone ready to arise or are our spring storms signs of her temper flaring? Her struggle (like ours) to push through when we’re not quite ready.

I toggle between what I “need” to write for others and what my own desire longs for. Perhaps, they are one and the same. To speak truth in the moment. To be forthright. To remember what I stand for. This is the season of new beginnings. Shifting from watery Pisces into Aries fire. It’s hard to ignite a spark with so much moisture in the air. I feel the emotions of it all. I am Persephone. Queen of winter and Goddess of springtime. I have descended and risen for more cycles than I can count. I am shedding old ways and rising into something new. For now, I shall linger in the mystery.

How about you? What resonates? Where does life feel dissonant? What does your forthright self want to say, do, feel, know in this moment?