by Lezli Censullo

Oh no, not more Grief! I can almost hear you all exclaiming! — and yes, that is indeed our topic for this week. Good f’ing grief!

As you can perhaps imagine, Kayce’s blog last week has stayed with me and sent me into a deep dive about how grief functions and what we can learn from it. About how there are all kinds of grief — we all have losses of various kinds, shadow memories, disappointments, dreams unfulfilled, disappointments, etc. that, as Connie Zweig says in her book The Inner Work of Age, Shifting from Role to Soul, have “shaped a story that we have told ourselves over and over again.”

Studies have shown that in later life especially, there is a widespread desire for emotional repair. Rabbi Tirzah Firestone’s book From Wounds to Wisdom takes an especially interesting look at this as well. And I believe that grief can be one of the lights that guides our way.

There are many ways to turn our wounds into wisdom. One of the ways is to invite what I call our Grief Muse into conversation and one of the best ways I know to converse with my Muses is through the Tarot. The following tarot spread can be used as journaling prompts for those of you who prefer that way, and/or with oracle cards as well. There is no right or wrong way to engage the Muse!

This spread has two parts. The first part is based on Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ stages of grief, which include Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. These stages are not linear. Sometimes we experience them all at once, sometimes we bounce from one to the other like a ping pong ball. Connie Sweig suggests adding another “stage” to the list — Renewal. She says, “Renewal suggests that we have undergone a transformative transition and accepted that we are now a different person in a different reality. We are shifting from role to soul.” She continues, “This is where we witness our sorrow and disorientation, and more easily return to center and remember who we are.”

So, in the spirit of curiosity, let’s ask some questions about grief that can help us turn our wounds into wisdom, and discover who we are in the process of becoming.

Getting Ready to Engage: I invite you to fix yourself a cup of tea, get comfy and breathe. You may have a particular grief in mind and you may not. It doesn’t matter. The Muse will know what you need and that wisdom is already available inside of you.

The Tarot Spread for Exploring Grief: (It doesn’t matter whether you have identified a grief or not. The spread will show you where grief is pointing you.)

1. Denial: What have I denied that my soul is now ready to explore?

2. Anger: How is my soul now ready to fight for true sovereignty?

3. Bargaining: What blaming pattern is my soul now ready to release?

4. Depression: What is the boulder in my gut that won’t move trying to protect me from?

5. Acceptance: What sovereign truth is my soul now ready to trust?

6. Renewal: How/where am I ready to shift from role to soul?

** Moving Forward: The Creativity Journey and Spread

The whole idea of renewal implies creativity and asking What is Possible instead of what is no longer possible. Let’s ask the 5 Elements to help us explore what is ready to be created now that we have explored our Grief.

From Air: What is the most important lesson I’ve learned over the course of my life?
From Fire: What passion does my inner Elder need to express?
From Water: How do I best express love and compassion for self and others?
From Earth: What right action can I take to see my true creative legacy begin or continue to take form? From Majors: What does Spirit want me to know about my journey?

Okay, that’s a lot!
What wisdom did you discover? I’d really like to know. Please share and let’s co-mingle our wisdoms in the cauldron of the Garden..

Good grief, my friends!

PS: Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you have any questions about using these questions. I’m here to help.